This weeks been a strange week and I'm going to try and get a load of it down. I shot MAdM on Monday and was going to see Rival Schools on Tuesday. A couple of hours before hand a friend text me asking if I wanted to come to an intimate showcase and photograph The Saturdays. They aren't my cup of tea but it's a chance that doesn't really come round often (or at all really) so I said yes. The showcase was for AOL and they had arranged a little photo opportunity before hand. I was pretty nervous as I'm not really very good or confident at taking photos of people and I was pushed for time as I had to get to Rival Schools. It was stressing me out a little because I knew I was short on time and I got very flustered and paniced. The photo could have been better but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was when I left.
Rival Schools are a band I've been listening to for nine years now (since their first and only album came out) and they are a band I've forgotten about and rediscovered a number of times over the years. Over the last few, every time I hear the album I love it a little bit more. I've been lucky enough to see them a couple of times but seeing them at the Hoxton Bar and Kitchen was the first chance I've had to photograph them live.
The photos really aren't anything special but the opportunity to take them meant a lot. The band were perfect and they are just an effortless band. Everything seems so easy and they are very understated which makes them quite powerful.
The rest of the photos of Rival Schools are here.So MAdM, The Saturdays and Rival Schools was the first two days of the week. The same person who sorted out The Saturdays for me was also sorting out a photoshoot with Dita Von Teese for an interview she's done with her for the Metro newspaper. This was a massive deal for me and while I was stressing and nervous about it, it was something I HAD to do.
In the end it fell through and it didn't happen but I was shooting a burlesque show for my friend on Friday. I was also meant to be spending the weekend at Erotica and I had two people that wanted photographs from me. I was meant to be shooting for House of Burlesque and Tanya Tate had also said she was after some photos. Despite the Dita shoot falling through I was told I could go and photograph her doing a book signing. As the week went on I was stressing more and more about everything and I was struggling to work out how I would fit everything in and not let anyone down.
As well as all these things I did five full days at work and covered/photographed a signing for artist Nathan Fox. It really has been an insane week.
I went to the burlesque show but when I got there I just didn't feel right. I felt incredibly uncomfortable and self concious and I don't know why. I was also very busy with loud music and lots of extremely loud talking. I started feeling quite claustrophobic (it's the only way I can describe it). As it was a charity show and I had been asked to photograph it was I was putting pressure on myself to deliver some decent photos to warrent being asked to do it. As the night went on and once the performers started my anxiety was going through the roof and I was verging on a panic attack and I was starting to get into a bit of a downward spiral and I was freaking out. I ended up having to leave and I was pretty upset. I felt like I had let Deni down for leaving and not taking photos but I also just didn't feel up to being around groups of people so I decided not to go to Erotica. I think it's for the best that I take a little bit of a breather and try and collect myself a little. Everything just got too much too quickly and I felt so far out of my comfort zone this week. It's meant letting down three sets of people over the last two days but I don't know what else I could have done.
This week has made me realise that I can take some good shots but I really am not a good photographer and I think there's a big difference. I seriously lack the skills to handle pressure and social situations which can really set you apart.
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